Psimer A641.9.3.RB - Becoming a Resonant Leader

 A641.9.3.RB - Becoming a Resonant Leader

Dear Self,

I am 10 hours from earning my Master’s degree, an accomplishment I had written off many years ago.  While the catalyst for the accelerated graduation stemmed from the Coast Guard requiring advanced education, I quickly figured out my pursuit of the degree was one hundred percent for me, and not the Coast Guard at all; probably explains why I could keep the pace.  And the drive came from a passion to learn, vice a “check in the box.”  I held fast when people questioned why on earth I would choose a degree in something like leadership – ironically most of them don’t know a thing about leading.

These past 10 months have undoubtedly been the most difficult of my life.  Not just because of the sheer volume of school work, work-work, but managing all of that while being a single parent and being committed to fostering animals.  I hit many low points when I was tired, stressed and pulled in too many directions.  I never quit though. 

My personal vision statement is it is never too late to start something.  Excuses are a guaranteed way to fail.  Because you cannot succeed, if you do not start. I needed an entourage of support to achieve goals and dreams.  And finally, taking care of animals is my favorite thing in the world.  I will never forget shortly after I started grad school, an animal rescue called me on a Monday and asked if I could drive to Virginia to rescue two Yorkies on the verge of being euthanized.  I thought to myself, how on earth can I pull this off.  Well, my son and I rented a car and Wednesday night at 9:00pm started our three-hour drive south, where we met an animal control officer at a random dark parking lot to take the dogs north.  Honestly, it was too much for me.  But my son, Everett, insisted.  We got the dogs, which led to dog baths at almost 2:00am, because turns out one of them gets car sick.  We fostered them, until they were happily adopted by good families.  This vignette is one of many from the last year illustrating the doing-it-all mentality I so much crave and take pride in.

I am eternally grateful for everyone who gently kept me on track and for people who basically forced me to keep going.  This pertains to my vision, because yin and yang is so important in every aspect of life.

Additionally, author Stulberg (2023), describes the concept of rugged flexibility “is to get to a favorable reorder; to maintain a strong core identity, but at the same time, to adopt and grow.”  This resonated with me, because it is my core identity which allowed me to adopt and grow.

My first learning goal is to be in a new relationship.

While not a ‘traditional learning goal’ in an academic sense, I am at the beginning of a new, exciting relationship.  Quite frankly, I learn the most from being in relationships.  As I enter into this partnership, I will do so with an appreciation for the past.  Already, I can tell how important it is to draw upon the former relationship (a marriage of almost ten years) to plant the seeds for a long and happy marriage.  The big takeaway from this learning goal is to start every goal with giving myself permission.  I had imprisoned myself and could not see past, the past.  Now I can clearly see the future and I cannot even wait another minute.  Where there is mourning, there is love. 

‘Measurable’ milestones to moving in a positive direction with a healthy relationship:

1) relocate, move-in together;

2) get engaged and;

3) get married.

Action steps:

1) Communicate our needs;

2) commit to compromise and;

3) be patient during the transitions.

According to McKee, Boyatzis, Johnston, 2008: “The intent is to create trust, resonance and an environment where people can tell the truth.”  My significant other and I have harped on telling the truth, no matter how bad, good, ugly or anything else.  

Second learning goal is something in the near-future and continues to build on advanced education.  I would like to earn a black belt six sigma certification.  I have an interest in team leadership, team dynamics and systematic efficiency. I enrolled in the class last year and dropped out about two hours before it started out of fear of failing. 

Milestone:

1) Complete the six sigma project;

2) Implement an aspect of the project in my organization and;

3) Earn the black belt-level.

Action Steps:

1) Re-enroll in the program;

2) Work closely with supervisors to identify a challenging, rewarding and attainable project and;

3) Earn the green belt first.

Third learning goal is a lifetime dream of being a firefighter. 

My entire life I have wanted to be a firefighter.  In the early 2000s, I applied for a firefighting program in Austin, Texas.  I was accepted many times, yet chose to move to Bangor, Maine and be a 911 emergency dispatcher.  Then, joined the Coast Guard where I have served 15 years.  Being a firefighter is my ultimate dream in life.  Every time I looked at the firefighting program, it seemed like too much to try.  Yet, now with a graduate degree under my belt, anything is possible.

I want to attend the firefighting program at Texas A&M, in which upon graduation I will earn certifications to be able to apply for firefighting jobs.  The challenge is my age.  I will likely have exceeded the age limit for city, government jobs.  However, sometimes there is a waiver process especially for military veterans.  And I am more than happy to volunteer!!

Action steps:

1) Call Texas A&M to inquire about the program;

2) Visit the school, meet with advisors and the director of the program and;

3) Figure out a way to weave this into my next five years of active duty service, prior to retirement.

Milestones:

1) Visit the school;

2) Be accepted into the program and;

3) graduate as a firefighter.

In all of these learning goals, friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and even strangers help support me.  The list would be far too lengthy to list everyone.  Plus, there are people deep in the background and spiritually who are a huge part of my journey.

Reference:

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader, (8^th ed.). Harvard 

        Business Publishing

Stulberg, B. (2023). Master of change: How to excel when everything is changing – Including you. 

            HarperOne.